Part of my Money Story! The shame, the guilt and the debt that kept me feeling heavy

I’ve been broke, visiting the food bank to feed my kids after my divorce broke! Sitting on 30k lawyer debt and other variable debt to get through with no end in sight, ordered to pay support and offset child support kills a girls’ finances! I was a mess emotionally and drowning in financial obligations and stress as a newly single mom!

ANNNND, I’ve also painstakingly crawled out of that debt with determination and focus to get out! It was either that or bankruptcy, which I wanted to avoid at all costs. It was absolutely hell and an uphill battle. I’ve owed the gov’t thousands of dollars in the past, I’ve lost out on many, many tax benefits as the support I paid showed the courts our children were “dependent” on my ex. Go figure! Equivalent to spouse, and child deductions are a real bonus when it comes to tax time as I swiftly found out!

I’ve researched for hours on many different occasions to utilize financial support, subsidy, grants, scholarships, anything that could help take the pressure off during different phases of my life. And, I also hid in shame as I fought for my kids and myself.

In my journey I’ve had a 800+ credit score, and I’ve had a 600 credit score and everything in between. I’ve made 15k, and I’ve made 6 figures. I’ve been 60k in debt and I’ve been zero in debt. I’ve had a positive money mindset, and a negative money mindset.

You see, our money story and our financial path is never linear. We don’t talk about this enough, and it needs to be given a voice, it needs to be given the chance for others to say me too 🙋🏻‍♀️ I’m struggling and I need help! Our worth does not sit in our bank account! We carry so much shame and guilt for the situation we’ve put ourselves in or the one we ended up in that we keep it in hiding and ultimately in the toxic and vicious cycle.

Brene Brown says “shame needs three things to grow; secrecy, silence and judgment.” Shame grows when it’s not given a voice.

You know the easiest fix? To talk about it. To ask for help. Opening up and discussing our struggles, fears, and vulnerabilities can be incredibly powerful and transformative.

It allows us to release the burden we’ve been carrying, gain new perspectives, and develop solutions. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness, rather a demonstration of strength and self-awareness. Buy reaching out to others, We invite support, guidance and opportunity to grow stronger. We are not defined solely by our financial stories or the stories we tell ourselves; there is so much more to each of us. Sharing stories allows us to challenge are shame and embrace our inherent worth.